Fangs Ain't What They Used to Be!

Have you read Twilight yet? Seen the film? Can you name one or all of the sequels? If you answered no to all of the questions above then you are, these days, a rarer creature than you would once have been. International Twilight fever continues unabated, particularly among the female of the species.

This review in the Guardian, covering both the film and the book, made me laugh. As well as making a few indignant points about the different way in which author Stephenie Meyer has chosen to present her vampires - defanged and dressed in (oh, the unspeakable horror of it!) beige - it confirms that the Twilight phenomenon is all but irresistible to any who choose to dip even the tiniest of their toes in the water. However much they claim not to want to, people seem unable to stop themselves from finishing first the original book, then the series, and, finally, going to see the film.

As for those who do want to do any of these things, well, they clearly want to do them as many times as humanly possible and then once more, just for kicks. Following the example set by the Mamma Mia obsessives, it is not unheard of for certain Twilight fans to book several showings in the same week. Now, I'm all for repeat viewings of films or re-reading of books I've enjoyed, but only when it doesn't cost me any more to do so, i.e. when I own a copy of the literary or cinematic creation in question. London cinemas aren't exactly cheap these days, even in the suburbs!

Once, therefore, was enough for me. I saw the film recently and, despite being distracted by the quartet of tweenage girls behind me staging the world's noisiest in-cinema picnic and quoting most of the film's lines a few seconds ahead of the characters on screen (definitely not their first viewing), I managed to take in enough of it to appreciate the following spoof, which I was directed to via Twitter. Having said that, you won't need to have seen any more than the television trailers in order to recognise enough to make you grin...