So What's Been Happening?

Five unexpected events that have occurred since last I blogged:

1) A Barba Do Tio Alonso arrived in the post - Uncle Alonzo is a fully-fledged Brazilian at last! Now all I need is someone who speaks Portuguese to translate for me...

2) Following a generous gift of fresh-from-the-tree damsons from a lovely neighbour, I have successfully cooked two different damson-related desserts from scratch! Recipes to come in later posts.

3) I have started driving lessons again. No fiddling about with manual cars for me this time, though; it's automatic all the way! I have decided that I possess neither the patience nor the robust mental disposition necessary to cope with a manual car. Yes, I've heard all the arguments - 'What if you have to drive someone else to hospital in their car?' being one of the most popular. Frankly, if my control of a manually operated automobile is all that stands between the critically ill individual in question and certain death, then they might as well start picking out hymns... ;-)

4) A random evening google resulted in the discovery that Windows Vista has inbuilt speech recognition software - very handy! I have already begun training it. Listen to my voice. You are feeling very sleepy...

5) I have had a new passport photo taken which - for the first time in living memory - did not result in my looking like a newly-caught criminal, digits still wet with fingerprinting ink. My occasional visits abroad will no longer begin and end in shame as I hand over the little red book and try to neutralise the passport official's incredulous stare with a nonchalant shrug and a Yeah, the photo's hideous but what can I do about it? eye-roll. It is nothing less than an honest-to-God miracle!

A Delightful Day

Many thanks indeed to the pupils and staff of the Virgo Fidelis Preparatory School, who made me so welcome when I went to spend their School Book Day with them yesterday.

In the morning I visited three separate classes - the Nursery, Reception and Year 1 - all of whom were delightful and very generous with their lovely hugs! After reading Uncle Alonzo’s Beard, I conducted a short quiz on the book. Each correct answer, of which there were many, won an Alonzo badge. Following the quiz, the children were able to turn the tables on me and ask any questions that they wanted to. I then finished the session by introducing them to one of Alonzo’s relatives, My Scandalous Sister Sophia – a terribly badly behaved little girl, who I am certain had little in common with the angelic nippers of Virgo Fidelis! ;-)

In the afternoon I had the privilege of sitting in on illustrator Garry Parsons' wonderfully engaging workshop with the older pupils. Then, at the end of the day, we both had the chance to chat with the children and say hello to their parents, whilst signing the books that Adriana from the marvellous Tales on Moon Lane bookshop had sold.

Lots of photographs were taken, all of which I am certain were absolutely hideous! I don’t consider myself to be the most photogenic of people at the best of times, but yesterday I was sporting crazy hair, a shiny face and scrunched up eyes (we were outside, staring into the sun) on top of everything else! I can only hope that the incriminating pictures will all end up locked in a deep, dark vault somewhere, never to see the light of day again...

I must offer particular thanks to the Deputy Headmistress, Mrs Pollard, and to VFPS parent, family friend and all-round fantastic person, Isabelle Blake-James, who organised the whole day. It was a real pleasure to visit Virgo Fidelis and I look forward to returning at some time in the future. :-)

The News in Brief

1. Uncle Alonzo will shortly be enjoying life in foreign climes! Yes, the excessively beardy fellow’s nefarious plans for world domination continue apace – various rights have been bought and sold and he will soon be making guest appearances in Denmark, Korea and Brazil!

2. Whilst Alonzo is gadding about the globe, my own travel ambitions are rather more modest. I am heading off to the Oxford Literary Festival tomorrow at (almost) the crack of dawn - hence the extreme brevity of this post! I have now signed up for a ridiculous number of talks, presentations and panel events. One of the talks that I was originally due to attend was cancelled a week or so ago, so I naturally went looking for a replacement. I found three. I'm not sure that I am fully prepared for the weekend of madness, mayhem and 'frantic rushing about the place' that now awaits me.

3. I am still waiting for John Lewis to get in some replacement Leg Master machines. In fact, forget ‘some’, a simple ‘one’ would be fine – as long as they sold that one to me, of course!

4. This week’s rather abbreviated vital statistics:
Books In: 17
Books Out: O
(People are starting to complain and the shelves are definitely showing signs of sagging...)

And A Good Time Was Had By All!

Yesterday I had the privilege of visiting Lytton House, the Junior Department of Putney High School, and giving a reading of Uncle Alonzo’s Beard to the Reception, Year 1 and Year 2 children, before answering their questions about the book, My Freaky Family (the series that Alonzo belongs to), publishing and writing in general. I also had the chance to introduce them to Great Uncle Fred – another member of the family – and his most unusual pet!

The girls were a delightful and enthusiastic audience – very attentive during the readings and full of interesting questions afterwards. I’m only sorry that there wasn’t enough time to answer all of them before the session was over! I definitely got the impression that there were more than a few budding authors, illustrators and future publishers out there... :-)

At the end of the afternoon, it was a lovely surprise to be presented with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and three wonderful thank you cards – created by the girls themselves – which are now sitting proudly on the shelves above my writing desk.


Many thanks indeed to both Miss Brennan and Putney parent Gill Mais for organising the whole event, and to all the girls for making me feel so welcome. I look forward to visiting again soon...

What Am I Doing Here?

Honestly? I've got no idea. First Facebook, and now this. I think I might be possessed or something (crack out the Yellow Pages, someone, and start searching under 'E' for 'Exorcist'). God knows, I should have had enough technological inadequacies, privacy issues and correspondence deficiencies to keep me away from Facebook until at least half-past the Apocalypse. And as for an actual blog, well, suffice it to say that you're reading the words of someone who's never managed to keep any kind of diary or journal going for longer than two weeks at a time, even during the whole angsty teenage phase, when a good number of those around me were churning out epics to rival War and Peace.

Truth be told, I held out on both fronts for as long as I could, but I finally needed to copy some photos from one friend and get hold of another, who appeared to be otherwise un-contactable. Registering on (or 'with'? Who knows?) Facebook was the only answer, so I took a firm grip of myself, filled in as few boxes as humanly possible and got the job done. I certainly wasn't planning to stay, though. I mean, as I may have mentioned once or twice already, I am a confirmed technological incompetent, and I quickly found myself adrift in a sea of incomprehensible technical terms and Facebook-style vernacular ('Poke'? 'Wall'? 'Free Gifts'? In the name of sanity...), so why on earth would I? And yet, despite all this, I find that I have still not got around to deleting my account as originally intended - there may not be much there, but 'there' it still remains...

And this blog? My first children's book, Uncle Alonzo's Beard, was published at the end of May 2007. I've always considered myself a writer, but in May it seemed that I finally became a 'Writer' - a difference which tends to become especially apparent in the company of the kind of people whose opening conversational gambit is always something along the lines of "And what is it that you do?" Anyway, as everyone (apparently) knows, a Writer needs a Website. Hmm. I sensed a problem looming. Luckily, it was one I was able to solve with the aid of a gloriously idiot-proof Mr Site box, and it wasn't too long before http://www.emma-king-farlow.com/ was up and running.

A few seminars and talks later, however, and I had been instructed, more than once, that a Website was no longer enough - at least, not unless it was a seriously interactive one, which mine is not. No, now a Writer needs a Blog, as well as a Website.

I thought about this for a while. I skipped gaily around cyberspace, peeking at other blogs and considering how my as-yet-nonexistent one might compare. There were a few that gave me hope (surely anything I might produce had a fairly good chance of being both less rambling and more involving than some of these?), but there were many, many more - witty, erudite, informative and interesting - that made me wonder what on earth I thought I had to add to the already crowded and obviously talent-rich blogosphere. And so I held off for several months.

But now, my friends, the time has come. It's a new year, the air is humming with shiny, new-born resolutions, and one of mine is being brought to life on the screen in front of you. Can I maintain this blog, as I never could my diaries? Will I write anything interesting enough to tempt anyone other than my parents to read it? Will I even manage to transfer this first post from my computer to the Internet in the first place? Who knows? I certainly don't. But, you know what? I think it might be fun to find out...

Happy New Year!